4. Have good fights.
Happy couples do fight. Couples who say they never fight are dishonest, or perhaps one member of the couple acts like a doormat (and by the way, research shows that over a 10-year period women who report keeping their mouths shut during arguments with their spouses have a four times greater risk of heart disease, as compared to women who speak up). The goal in a good fight is to reach a solution so you avoid never-ending battles. Ask neutral questions (“Why do you think that?”) and listen to the answers, then give your opinion. Good fights end with a solution. Bad fights don’t. At the start of a fight, you and your mate will have different ideas about how to solve the problem at hand. Discard both ideas and come up with a joint solution. The fact is, when all parties participate in creating a resolution, they are more likely to comply.
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