Things you MUST know about love – New decade, new perspective. Writing about love is daunting. It really is. To paint an accurate illustration of the way I felt when I first began tackling this topic, I ask you to envision me: a skinny, uncoordinated white girl measuring all of 5’3″, facing off with Shaquille O’Neal on the basketball court.
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The entire scenario is silly and farcical, and that’s exactly how I felt trying to form accurate conclusions about love, a force that’s much like a giant on a basketball court. It’s towering and intimidating and has the capacity to undo me. But the challenge was intriguing, so I couldn’t say no.
As I started brainstorming everything I’d learned about love over the short 30 years of my life, I quickly recognized that in pondering the mysteries of love, I was actually placing myself in the company of others who had sung and written and theorized about it. As I listened to their music, read their novels, and watched their films, the insights I gained helped shape my own. They bore witness to my experiences and gave voice to feelings I couldn’t otherwise articulate.
Here are 30 things I see differently about love now that I’m 30 years old, as told by my own musings, and quotes from book, movies and songs.
1. Make a list of things you want in a partner — but don’t let it rule you.
It can be helpful to make a list of things you want in a romantic partner, and it can be equally helpful to throw that list away. Love asks that we remain open, and always ready for surprise.
2. Love doesn’t require perfection.
“There were so many presumptions that I’d allowed to be built into my own mind about what awife should be. I thought she should be a show-stopping cook and a brilliant entertainer, a nonstop quick wit, a wild thing in bed, an effortless nurturer… but if I can be honest, my grandmother was none of these things and she still enjoyed one of the most legendary lives and marriages that I’ve ever seen.” —Kristine Gasbarre, How to Love an American Man
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