Biggest mistakes couples make – Why any single one of these can lead you back to being single again. I’ve assembled a list of non-gender-specific ways that couples sabotage their relationships. Hopefully, this list will help create some “a-ha” moments, great conversations and behavioral changes. Hopefully, before too much damage has been done, couples can reverse course.
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Here are ten warning signs that couples should be aware of before it’s too late.
1. You focus more on what’s wrong rather than what’s right.
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The fundamental truth in life is that humans tend to find what they look for in their world. Some people are convinced we’re on the path to immediate ruin, while others believe we’re living in the most exciting time to be alive in history.
Both opinions can point to outstanding arguments to support their premise. But how can they both be right when they live in the same world?
It’s because humans have an ability to live in a world of their own making, simply by choosing where we focus. This is also how you can keep your love alive and vibrant at the same time. You can focus on what a lazy, forgetful, good-for-nothing partner you have, or you can see them as a wonderful and loving partner who occasionally overlooks a request when they are distracted.
2. You’d rather be right than in love .
As long as we’re talking about how to respond proactively when things go wrong, let’s just acknowledge that there will inevitably be times when your partner falls short, makes a mistake or just blows it. Even though it may seem justified in the moment, choosing a righteous response will only damage trust and create lingering resentment. Plus, it will teach them to stonewall, deny and argue, rather than simply apologize and admit a mistake in the future.
It’s critical and really smart to condition the behavior you want to see by using rewards and not punishment if you want a relationship that lasts. Take the high road and give your partner the benefit of the doubt, especially if they don’t expect or feel they deserve it. It really builds up appreciation, good will and a desire to do even better to please you next time.
Bottom line: whenever possible, give people a graceful way to save face when they screw up. Have the humility to apologize quickly if you’re the one who screws up. Both habits will go a very long way to creating and sustaining the love you deserve.
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