What to do:
You may sense the sadness and underlying angst in people who want to blame and shame us. You may want to help or heal the person because you care. You may make your own excuses for them. You may make suggestions, and they may intermittently reward you with a shower of attentive affection. They seem to be on the right track, but then they derail, and the arguments (or worse) start again.
Most people that carry around a lot of shame and blame need an empathetic professional counselor and a neutral space to heal.
If you’ve told friend or partner how their actions make YOU feel, using a statement like, “When you yell at me, I feel disrespected,” and their hurtful actions continue (especially if you begin to feel you’re being manipulated), their low self-esteem is chronic, and they need help you can’t deliver.
If your boss treats you this way, start looking for another job.
If your friend or partner refuses to look in the mirror, you need to let go.
A few years from now, your life will be lighter and probably happier, and you’ll be glad you did.
All that will remain in your heart is the love you shared and the self-love and self-respect you’ve regained.
Source: Yourtango
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