2. Women get QUIET.
Women are ninja masters at this. If a man is frustrated and wants you to do something, normally, he’s going to just come out and say it. He might yell, he might whine, but, however he does it, men often have a hard time keeping their inner desires INSIDE. They want them to be expressed so they express them in the bluntest way possible.
Women, on the other hand, take a different — and probably WAY more effective — approach. We go silent. We stop talking. We get distant.
Women will often justify those cold silences by saying “I needed some time” or “I was processing things,” but, by refusing to engage, it leaves our men thinking “WHAT? What did I do?”
Those silences can get so uncomfortable that men quickly will do almost anything to end them. “Do you want me to admit I’m wrong? Change my shirt? Start going to the gym more? SAY SOMETHING!”
By refusing to express what we want, women make men almost desperate to comply with our wishes, if it will only mean that the silent treatment will end. It involves next to no talking and it’s staggeringly effective.
Flattery is a useful tool to control most people, but it works particularly well on men. It appeals to two separate but powerful aspects of being a man — that men are raised with the (unrealistic) expectation that they can do anything AND that men are rarely complimented (beyond a stoic “Good job”).
But a woman’s flattery overwhelms both of those conditions with pandering and praise. “Honey, I’m not good with technology, can you figure out this remote for me?” “Babe, can you load up the car for me? The suitcases are so heavy and you’re so good at getting everything in there!”
Granted, some of those compliments might be genuine, but it is still a form of control. The woman wants something accomplished, so she lavishes her man with praise, letting him know that he’s the BEST at doing whatever she wants done.
It’s probably not true. (She’s a grown woman. She can figure out a remote.) But the flattery is a proven way to get the man to do what she wants, so why not use it?
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