13. He HAS to be in control.
Controlling people need to be in charge of everyone and everything. If they aren’t in charge, they’ll act out immaturely and angrily. They’ll pout and they’ll shout until everyone bends to their will. They’re terribly unpleasant to be around, and they have underlings instead of friends or loved ones.
- How this relationship affects you: If this is a relationship that you feel like you can’t escape, you’ll feel perpetually anxious around this person, particularly if it’s someone who insists on your doing everything his or her way. These are usually people who have a hidden rulebook, and if you accidentally violate one of their rules, you’ll be punished either directly or in a passive-aggressive way on their part. This could lead to dangerous abuse.
- How to handle this: As an assertive person, you have an obligation to your own self-esteem to be honest and direct with everyone about your feelings. Just don’t expect to change the other person by so doing. Keep your conversations with the controlling person as brief as possible, and spend your time with more pleasant and easier-to-get-along-with people instead.
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