16. She has some type of addiction.
This is a person who is addicted to a mood-altering substance such as alcohol; prescription or street drugs, including marijuana; or even socially acceptable chemicals such as sugar, caffeine, nicotine, or chocolate. His or her personality changes as a result of using or not using this substance. He or she may be aggressive or lazy; have mood swings; or be jittery, anxious, or argumentative.
- How this relationship affects you: Codependent people tend to be anxious, filled with guilt, shame, and remorse. They often turn to their own addictions, particularly food such as sugar or white flour, as a way of stuffing down their own feelings. They want to leave the relationship, but they feel afraid and guilty. If they do leave, they often go right into another addictive relationship until they do deep analysis of their reasons for choosing an addict.
- How to handle this: If you have had even one relationship with an addict and you still harbor hurt and pain over this, or if you are currently in a relationship with an addict who is still using and abusing his or her chemical of choice, you need support. The free 12-step groups called Codependents Anonymous or Al-Anon are wonderful forums for getting strength, support, and sanity. You can find Codependents Anonymous or Al-Anon meetings internationally by searching for them on the web, as well as free online virtual meetings.
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