9. Construct and rehearse your alibi. Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. For example say you went out on a Thursday night after telling your girl you’d stay in. You met a girl in the club who bit the hell out of your neck in the heat of passion. You brought her home and she turned out to be a flooder. The sheets were destroyed.
Let’s focus on each aspect of the situation. If she asks why you didn’t answer the phone or call her back, say you wanted to stay in but Steve called and begged you to go out because he’s trying to get this girl that has an ugly friend. So for most of the night you had to talk to a fatty, but you wished you were with her instead. The club was so loud that you didn’t see the call and by the time you noticed it was too late to call back.
Second, the scratch on the back of your neck happened when you were in the kitchen. You left a cabinet door open and when you reached down to pick something up off the floor, you come back up right under it and caught your neck. Of course you will wear a collared shirt to cover it up and prevent her discovery, but if you never wear collared shirts around her then she will be even more suspicious if she catches the scratch. If you have a sister and can borrow her makeup this may also be a good play, or just go to the nearest department store’s cosmetic counter. I’m not joking.
Third, the sheets. In America you can do a wash and dry load quickly, but in countries without a dryer it has to hang for quite a while. If she insists on coming in during the late afternoon before it dries, say how mad you are at the maid for dicking around and always coming in on the wrong days.
You’ve closed the gaps. Otherwise it would be a very damaging situation. While subconsciously she will know something is going on and be moody and testy, consciously she will accept your airtight alibi and things can proceed as normal.
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