4. You don’t create a safe space for your partner to speak openly and just be.
I know many of these items seem to overlap, and that’s because they do cross over into one another. Bad habits and poor strategies that don’t work are a slippery slope to ruin. People have a need to be seen, heard, acknowledged and appreciated just as they are. They don’t want to be judged, manipulated or treated as if they’re wrong and broken.
Sometimes, people may think they need or want things that might be real dealbreakers for other people. But what they really needed all along was just the acceptance that came with simply hearing them out and not making them wrong. They key to remember is that as soon as you judge someone else, you lose all ability to influence them.
If you can accept people where they are and give them more unconditional love than they’ve ever felt in their lives, that’s the secret to an undying love. Think about it: Why would someone risk losing the greatest partner they’ve ever had? Someone who also happens to always see the absolute best in them, even when they, themselves, temporarily lose sight of it. That is a powerful attribute and really, really tough to ever leave.
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