2. You’re overly focused on yourself.
“A marriage starts to weaken when both people start to become so centrally focused on just their family, home, and work life,” says Marni Kinrys, a relationship coach in Los Angeles, founder of The Wing Girl Method and author of e-book That’s Not How Men Work.
When we couple up with someone, we typically combine our individual, interesting worlds to create a whole other, potentially more interesting world that helps us grow. “As we get deeper into marriage and into our families, those extras can start to dwindle due to lack of time, energy, and obligations,” she says.
As a result of years of self-neglect, we begin to over compensate: “You might start to exercise a lot, work longer hours, or spend more time with your friends—which becomes the priority and takes away time from the relationship,” says Weber.
Try to take the focus off of yourself and support your partner in also doing things that help him or her grow. Even better: Find some activities that you can share outside of being parents or spouses. If we allow our partners time to do the things that help them grow, then they will allow the same for us. And you won’t feel the need to be greedy with your me-time.
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