2. Someone is more focused on self-protection than being vulnerable to new love.
Whether you lost your first spouse to divorce or death, the experience likely made you feel vulnerable and even afraid. Having been through a wrenching emotional experience, you might be wary of fully opening yourself up to a new partner. Many people describe a feeling of“looking over their shoulder,” expecting bad news at any moment.
This is not a healthy environment for love to flourish, and it can actually become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might leave at the first sign of trouble, or become so jealous and irrational that your new spouse feels that divorce is the only option.
If you have been divorced or widowed for a long time, you have likely worked hard to rebuild a life on your own. It is only natural to be skeptical of how a new partner will disrupt the balance and stability you have fought to achieve. Many couples work out these issues during the dating process, but for others, the feelings last into the new marriage.
If you are unwilling or unable to merge lives, your marriage will be more difficult to sustain.
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