In marriage, complaining to or about our spouse rarely produces the result that we are looking for and is pretty much futile. It does not typically lead our spouse to change; it only results in further distance. What we want is for them to respond positively to what we are requesting, but it typically does not have that effect. So if complaining is counterproductive, how can we find more constructive ways to get the point across effectively:
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1. Just talk.
One of the best ways to positively communicate what is bothering me is to just say it. No jab, no sarcasm, just “I would really like it if you would stop leaving dishes in the sink – please.” I know all my fellow husbands resonate with me on that one – okay maybe, maybe not (LOL.) But, the point is that often by just saying what is bothering us in forthright, plain terms, we gain the ear of our spouse much more effectively than the tone that can sometimes accompany our complaints.
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