9. You or your partner live separate lives.
The relationship may be intact on the surface, but we are really living separate lives. Our interests are elsewhere and our life with our partner is a hollow shell.
10. Both partners have given up hope.
There are no efforts to improve things. The relationship has turned cold and brittle. One or both partners are waiting for the right time to leave, but they both have given up on love.
No one can really tell someone else when it’s time to leave. When a person comes to me, I do an assessment with them to look deeply at the relationship. We explore how long the relationship has been going on, whether there are children involved, what the couple has done to get help, what each of them wants to have in the future.
Over the years I’ve worked with more than 25,000 couples. Often one person comes to me because they recognize the relationship is in trouble. Usually, one person is leaning towards leaving and the other person wants to keep the relationship alive. I’ve been successful in helping most relationships get back on track, even the ones that look pretty grim and hopeless.
Not all relationships can be saved and some should end so that each partner can breathe again and move on with their lives.
I’ve tried to offer some simple guidelines to begin a discussion on your relationship future. However, most people need more than a simple “10 point guide.” Staying too long in a dead-end relationship can be unbelievably painful. Leaving a relationship has its own kind of pain. If you are trying to decide whether to stay or whether to leave, I suggest you talk it over with a good therapist. You can contact me via email.
I look forward to hearing from you. What’s been your experience deciding whether to stay or leave.
Source: Yourtango
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