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I waited until my wedding night to lose my virginity and I wish I hadn’t..

I waited until my wedding night to lose my virginity and I wish I hadn’t.. 700x359

Ten-year-old girls want to believe in fairy tales. Take this pledge and God will love you so much and be so proud of you, they told me. If you wait to have sex until marriage, God will bring you a wonderful Christian husband and you’ll get married and live happily ever after, they said. Waiting didn’t give me a happily ever after. Instead, it controlled my identity for over a decade, landed me in therapy, and left me a stranger in my own skin. I was so completely ashamed of my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience.

I don’t go to church anymore, nor am I religious. As I started to heal, I realized that I couldn’t figure out how to be both religious and sexual at the same time. I chose sex. Every single day is a battle to remember that my body belongs to me and not to the church of my childhood. I have to constantly remind myself that a pledge I took when I was only 10 doesn’t define who I am today. When I have sex with my husband, I make sure it’s because I have a sexual need and not because I feel I’m required to fulfill his desires.



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  1. guest says

    Didn't get the essence of the right up. ? cos of your unfortunate experience people should not abstain ? …. or …. ? you can abstain & be informed/prepared for it at the right time… you were simply ill prepared for it psychologically

  2. Darasimi says

    Because it does not work for u doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work 4 others….. u were made 2 believe DAT but u urslf didn’t acquire more knowledge…. am sure u were counsel b4 marriage . Well I doubt ur write up. Am a virgin, my sis z b4 marriage and she enjoyed it and z still enjoying it. #i rep_nosexbeforemarriage

    1. Otiaboh says

      God bless u , u knw i was once a church goer when i was 12 i mesup with girls but today i knw the trueth and am 19 now and well baptised i have made that plegde that i will never in my life have sex or anything sexual to myself ontil i will get marry to my wife ,and i believe God will give me and everyone out there the straight to met this plegde

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