Things you MUST do to become that girl every guy wants – You’ve gotta click the pause button. When guys are looking for or first getting into a relationship, they often say they’re looking for someone without “drama.” But what does drama-free actually mean to them?
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While starting fights and stalking definitely falls under the umbrella of “dating drama,” most men have a broader definition of the term. Unfortunately, many guys consider normal discussions about what is or isn’t working and showing emotion to be drama … at least in the beginning stages of dating.
Here’s why they think that: Women are emotional beings. It’s our nature. We shouldn’t feel the need to judge, qualify, or change that fact. It’s what makes us wonderful friends, supportive partners, and nurturing mothers. It’s a very desirable trait in long-term, committedrelationships.
However, it ‘s also a trait that can scare the bejeezus out of men in the first few months of dating.
Why? Well, some men tend to focus on decision-making and problem-solving, not talking through things, sharing their feelings, or acting on their emotions. For a guy, dating is confusing and scary enough, so when a woman says “we need to talk,” “where is this relationship going,” “what are you feeling right now,” or, God forbid, starts to cry, it can send him running for the hills.
Is it fair? Probably not. But the good news is, once you’ve reached the stage where you’re in a committed relationship, most men are capable of having conversations about what is and isn’t working, as well as dealing with — and expressing — emotions.
Once he gets over his fear and confusion and feels secure, you won’t have to focus so much on “mindful dating.” In the meantime, however, here are my tips to keep things drama-free in the beginning of a new relationship:
1. Accept that there are differences between men and women.
One of the biggest sources of dating drama is ignoring the fact that men and women think, act, and communicate differently. Without realizing it, women speak their own language and expect a man to understand. No wonder new relationships can be so confusing and frustrating!