Reasons your wife won’t have sex: A man is not made by physical strength, a sense of superiority or rigidity. Manhood is not predicated upon an ability to fix, make or shoot. A real man is not ashamed of softness, but he does not bow in the face of hard things. The things that make a man have nothing to do with class, race or rank. Rather manhood is found in the core values that bind together people as diverse as the gentleman scholar and warrior soldier. A man puts the woman he loves first. He wakes up at night with crying babies and closes the door as he leaves the bedroom so that his wife can sleep while he soothes.
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He works every day, inside and outside the house, for the life his family deserves. He knows that in marriage there is no “his and hers,” there is only “ours.” He knows this applies to the drudgery as thoroughly as it applies to the joy. A man gives happiness before he asks for any in return.
Sex is at once so much more than anything else and so much less. It is a sacred language only the two of you speak and a good laugh. It is slow and love and fast and lust. It is give and take. It is an escape from the everyday and a return to yourself. It is reality and fantasy. It is need right now and forever I promise. It is giggles and fizzles and fireworks and almost there and don’t let go. It is important.
And many men can’t figure out why they’re not having it.
Now, on to the things you need to do, haven’t done and can learn with flair.
1. Women need you to listen, they need you to remember and they need you to say thank you. We are not asking for much here.
You need to listen. A woman needs you to listen to their dreams, their concerns, the way a day has made her feel and the aftermath of her successes and failures. Listening to your wife is one way of showing her that she is not just a reflection glanced upon at the end of each day. It is a way of communicating to her that you know she is complete and important and of worth.
You need to remember. And I am not just talking birthdays and anniversaries. (Although I would strongly suggest you don’t forget those.) Of course, every now and then remember to bring home your wife’s favorite flower or a packet of those pens she loves or tickets to that concert she mentioned a few months back. It is amazing what the simplest gesture will do for a woman that loves you. Also remember who your sweetheart is, remember where she hopes to go, who she hopes to become. And then on the days when the world gets too big and the rooms are too small she can call on you and you can help her remember, too. It is amazing what striving to understand the woman you love will do for the life you have together.
You need to say thank you. It can be a tiring place, this happily ever after. Yes, there is love and there are kitchen dances and sweet cream baby cheeks. But there are also sleepless nights and mortgages and post baby stretch marks. Thank her for every long day and long night. Thank her for every smile and laugh out loud. Thank her for your babies. Thank her for the dreams she pursues and the ones she puts on hold. Gratitude is often an action. Show it by washing the dishes, playing with her hair, giving her time and holding her hand. But every once in a while knock her socks off by actually saying, “Thank you.”
Men! Those three things! That is romance! That is courtship! That is love! And you know what gets women hot?