How to have a no strings attached sex – Hint: Don’t be a douche … Folks, I’m not sure if you are aware but there are a lot of folks out there (you may be one of them) looking for causal sex. OkCupid offers a “what I’m looking for” option clearly labeled: “casual sex,” and there are other dating sites entirely devoted to the concept of sex with no strings attached.
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The things is, there are still some people who really can’t handle the casual sex thing.
The idea makes them stop behaving like rational human beings. Seriously, there’s some crazy stuff going on out there! I can no longer sit by and let this go unanswered.
I have therefore assembled this list of 5 things I believe you should know before attempting to wade into the casual sex waters.
)Some of this strikes me as common sense, but apparently it’s not as common as I think.)
Here goes…
1. Be kind about it.
This has two parts.
First, I get an alarming number of first messages that say things like, “When are you free to hook up?”
Remember, being open to casual hook-ups is not the same as offering on-demand sex. Personally, I tend to like to meet up with people, talk to them, and make sure I like them as a human being before engaging in anything physical. Not everyone feels that way, but regardless, don’t treat the person you are dealing with like an employee.
Someone expressing a general interest in casual sex does not mean they are definitely consenting to have that sex with YOU. They don’t owe you sex.
Second, there’s avoiding emotional messiness, and then there’s being an asshole.
I’m sure you are really great and all, but don’t just assume people are going to fall madly in lovewith you if you don’t frequently instruct them otherwise. That’s just lame. Make sure you are on the same page as to what you are looking for — and then don’t be a jerk about it.
There is nothing worse than dealing with someone who feels compelled to tell you over and over again that this means nothing to them and they don’t want you getting invested. When you do this you just increase the serious chances of them thinking, “Dude, seriously — don’t flatter yourself!”
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