Relationship problems – Every relationship is unique, but most relationship problems are pretty much the same. Couples therapists tend to see identical issues crop up constantly, which is actually good news for you. Why? Because the pros know a handful of smart solutions that more often than not nip the issue in the bud.
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“Most conflicts tend to be caused by a breakdown in communication,”says Ginnie Love, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in private practice in South Florida.
“When couples share their feelings with each another, they come to a deeper level of intimacy, and as a result, they avoid blame and finger pointing during disagreements.”
Ready to get the love back without landing on a counselor’s couch? Here are the top 5 relationship issues that therapists see—and how to fix them fast.
1. “MY PARTNER DOESN’T UNDERSTAND OR LISTEN TO ME.”
Fix it: Force yourselves to talk—really make an effort.
Establish an actual daily check-in appointment with each other to discuss both your feelings and the business of running your life together, says Marni Kinrys, a relationship coach in Los Angeles, founder of The Wing Girl Method and author of e-book That’s Not How Men Work.
During these sessions, catch up with each other about what’s going on in your lives, and be sure to circle back to loose ends.
“For example, if your partner sent you an e-mail about weekend plans and you didn’t respond, make sure that you say something like ‘I got your e-mail, I working on it and this is where I’m at,’” says Kinrys.
While you chat, use reflective listening—repeating what your partner said to you back to them.
“It’s amazing how much miscommunication comes from our misinterpretation of what the other person has said along with us having not truly listened,” says Love.
Instead of focusing and listening to our partners intently, we often are preparing our reply in our heads which leads to lost messaging.
Finally, set up some easy-to-remember ground rules: No phones or tablets to distract you, no interrupting and no yelling (meet in public if you can’t help but raise your voices)
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