How to love an insecure man – I’ll support you, but I need your help. Every woman goes through a phase where they love the tortured artist type. You know the one, the guy with the long hair, who cries easily and writes dark poetry about how much he hates himself.
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Thankfully, this is usually a phase.
It doesn’t take long for women to learn that men who rely on women to build up their self-esteem are not men who are capable of having a healthy romantic relationship, or an equal adult partnership.
Don’t get me wrong, I would never write off a man with low self-esteem.
Humans don’t always love themselves easily.
But I do think that men who are of the belief that a woman’s role is to give them a sense of self, need to be disillusioned of that fact.
If you love a man with low self-esteem who is toxic like that, this is what he needs to know:
I’m not dating you to complete you.
Sure, it sounds really romantic when Jerry Maguire said “you complete me” but that was just a movie.
This is real life.
It’s taken me a long time to learn that it’s not my job to “fix” another human being that I’m in a relationship with.
I’m a whole, unique, complex person and so are you — that’s why we’re together!
If you feel empty or incomplete, I’m not the answer.
I’m not here to “fix” you, I’m here to be the cherry on the sundae of all the hard work you’ve already done on your self-esteem.