Love – There’s too much history, too much sensitivity. Once you have fallen in love with someone, there’s a deep caring within you for that other person that will always exist, no matter how the relationship ends. Sometimes we may not want to admit it but there will often remain a flicker of that love inside.
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The phrase “just friends” implies you’re able to be friendly with an ex without there being either sexual attraction and desire or conflict and discomfort.
And you’re never going to be “just friends” with somebody you had a love relationship with but you can have a new relationship without a need for it to conflict with you falling in love with someone else.
A lot depends on how a relationship ends. If a guy broke your heart and walked away from you saying he never wanted to see you again, well, yeah… it’s definitely going to be hard to be any kind of friend with that person.
In a relationship where trust has been broken, you may need to simply walk away and accept he’ll never be a part of your life again — at all.
It’s important to give yourself time to grieve over the relationship if you were in love. You need to allow time to examine and reflect on what was good in the relationship so you can move on and heal yourself from the negative aspects of it.
Through that process, you can find health and wholeness for yourself and forgiveness for him and any negativity that happened in the relationship. It doesn’t mean you welcome that person back into your life but you’re able to walk away, comfortable and whole.
What about a relationship that doesn’t work out because there’s something incompatible about your pairing long-term? Maybe there’s too big of an age difference or maybe one of you wants to be married and the other doesn’t. There are many reasons why a strong love relationship can end in an overall positive way.
There will probably be a period after a break up where you need time and space away from each other, where you can’t be friends at all. The draw of the love that still exists will hopefully draw you back together as special friends.