3. You believe the man you’re interested in is especially shy, so you want to make things easier for both of you by taking the initiative to ask him out.
It’s easy to see why you think these reasons make sense.
With the powerful shift toward greater gender equality in the work place, it seems like asking a man out should be no big deal.
After all, you are a mover and shaker in business. You’ve climbed the corporate or professional ladder to achieve success. This is just one more place to take charge and get it done right?
Not exactly. The romantic dynamics between men and women are not that simple.
In relation to gender equality, dating is a mating ritual rooted in biology that now seems like an archaic throwback to the times of cavemen. And the truth is — especially if you’re over 40 — you simply can’t take the DNA out of dating.
To understand what the heck DNA has to do with dating, we have to understand the Caveman.
At the dawn of the human race, men were hunters. They took the lead to hunt, feed and provide protection for the family. Females gathered plants, birthed children and raised them. OK maybe they did a little cave cleaning too.
The instinct to take charge, be dominant and hunt remains coded in a man’s DNA today.
That’s what I mean when I say you can’t take the DNA out of dating.
Men continue to feel an instinctual drive to be the dominant force in modern courtship; especially if they are alpha males. A full-blooded alpha male prefers tradition — he chooses the woman and takes charge of courtship.
When you turn the tables and ask an alpha man out, he might be curious and flattered — and he may even think he’s going to get lucky. I’ve spoken to a lot of men and this exactly what they tell me. But that doesn’t mean they see you as a long-term option.
When you ask him out and then pick up the check, you assumed the traditional male role. Let’s say he says yes and goes out with you a first time. How do you get an opportunity to see him again? If you ask him out again, you set an aggressive precedent — and now you are officially chasing him.
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