8. Dressing As Vanilla Ice, Pretending He’s A Rapper
Speaking of bad rap, John Cena once dressed up as Vanilla Ice for a WWE Halloween party. Now that’s not to disparage Vanilla Ice’s ability as a rapper (though plagiarizing rap artists somehow manage to sound even worse than regular rap artists), but more the rap ability of the buff legend wearing the rap legend’s outfit. Some people seem to forget this fact, but Cena’s shtick used to be rapping.
He even put out an album. If only along with not being able to see him, WWE fans could go one with their days not being able to hear him. Cena recorded nineteen rap songs, with such immortal lyrics as: “We real champs; y’all just featherweight”, and “Stompin bitch rappers like I’m straight outta A-Town” (the latter of which I would take as a compliment, but…).
For such a legend, Cena’s lyrics seem far less than legendary…and also less than the ability of a fifth grader, so perhaps he should have watched his cameo on Hannah Montana if for no other reason than to become inspired, through the display of his own physical prowess, to pick up a book and read. Surely it’s simpler than “basic Thuganomics” with the chain gang, a reference that must be, in some way, racist.
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