6. Cucumber – Clean Veggies
Okay, a cucumber going into a human being’s orifice is an age old joke. The vegetable has been used (or at least simulated being used) by women as a veggie replacement dildo numerous times. The cucumbers themselves aren’t the most interesting part of this story. When a man had to head into the emergency room, unable to quite walk right, his explanation of how the cucumber became lodged into his colon was quite original. The man explained to the doctors that he keeps his cucumbers in his shower to keep them fresh (You know, just like how there is a water spray system at the grocery market…he does the same thing with his produce. No biggie). He happened to fall and slip right on one of the cucumbers. The cucumber got lodged deep inside him and he was off to the ER. Either way, our advice is to never eat at this man’s house – and if you do, don’t eat the salad!
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