While you may limit the swearing (unless it’s your thing) one thing you shouldn’t limit are details. The more explicit and the more specific, the better your call will go.
“Don’t just say something like, ‘When you come home, I will be waiting to take you into the bedroom,’ ” says St. James. “Describe every single thing. When you are talking about what you want done to you, instead of saying ‘I love being licked, say exactly where and how you like it done.'”
While you’re busy getting down with the details remember that when it comes to phone sex, sound matters.
“Definitely use language you are already comfortable with,” adds Lumpesse. “Use your voice and your body as tools of seduction. Most partners will be really turned on by the sound of your breathing or moans, or even the sounds your body is making while you touch yourself.”
Once you get all comfy and cozy and you’re getting your groove on, phone sex requires Q&A.
“Good phone sex is like a game of tennis,” says St. James, who’s also written How to Get Her to Watch Porn, Have Anal Sex, and Call Her Best Friend for a Threesome: What it Takes to Build a Trusting (and Fun) Sexual Relationship. “It’s a constant back-and-forth and give-and-take. Be descriptive, but then ask a question to allow your partner to take over. After painting a vivid vision of how you would kiss your partner from head to lower body, ask, ‘How do you want me to use the tip of my tongue?'”
By asking questions and providing answers, phone sex can make you a better lover. It teaches you both how to give direction and how to receive it.
If opening your mouth, and letting words fly doesn’t really sit well with you, Bright shares this idea for fun aural sex. “Read something you find really hot over the phone… a bedtime story, so to speak.”
Whether you learn to talk the talk, or simply find it easier to read other people’s words, phone sex is a great way to reach out and touch someone when you can’t actually feel their skin pressed up against yours. So let your mouth do the talking and your fingers do the walking, and see what buttons you press.
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