Even if what you talk about stays in the realm of fantasy forever, connecting aurally allows you a freedom you may not get at other times in your relationship.
“Phone sex can be a great way to experience your deepest fantasies without trying to do things that might be logistically difficult or impossible,” says Ellie Lumpesse, a professional phone sex operator and blogger. “I’ve had clients with fantasies about sex in outer space or sex with giants. A skilled partner or phone sex provider will be able to help you create this vivid fantasy in your mind and really enjoy ‘living’ your fantasy.”
Fantasy doesn’t only apply to doing it in other galaxies either. Lumpesse, who started having phone sex before she lost her virginity, adds, “Phone sex is a great venue for really off-the-wall or taboo topics. You can use this to explore fantasies that you may think of as too racy to role play in person.”
So what can you do to enhance the experience and get comfortable giving aural? For starters, do what you’d normally do when you first get on the phone.
“Phone sex comes more naturally when you start off the call naturally — lights on, clothes on, TV in the background, etc., but, as time goes on, lights are turned off, clothes are shed and then you get to the main event,” says phone sex operator Sindy St. James.
“It’s helpful to have a casual conversation that turns erotic,” advises Amy Levine, sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of Sexedsolutions. “To make the transition, at some point during the conversation switch to a sexy topic like asking what they think about phone sex, or by sharing a fantasy.”
And after you get comfortable and in the groove, “You don’t have to start swearing like a sailor,” adds Bright. “Ask leading questions. Listen. Use euphemisms to make you both squirm. It’s not four-letter words that make or break a phone call.”
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