Hated by people: “If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown
We all know at least one hardcore people pleaser. You know the signs: She sleeps out in the rain and gets sick so her friend’s dog can fit in the tent. She’s 100 percent Republican but pretends she’s Democrat solely because her friends are.
If a friend calls her stupid, she whips up a batch of cookies and makes a card that reads, “I’m sorry for disappointing you.” And despite all her efforts to be liked by everyone, many people disrespect her.
Maybe that’s you, maybe it’s not—but odds are, you can relate at least a little to the desire to be well-liked. Who doesn’t want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?
For most of my life, my need to be liked overshadowed all my other needs. I was always trying to manipulate perception, adapting myself to receive validation. It was draining and counterproductive, since very few people actually knew me—the real me—which is a prerequisite to liking me.
I’ve since learned it’s actually a good sign if there are some people who don’t accept or agree with me.
I’m not suggesting we should be rude, inconsiderate, or disrespectful. This post isn’t about disregarding other people’s feelings.
This is about releasing our stress about other people’s opinions.
When you’re comfortable not being liked by everyone:
1. It allows you to be true to yourself.
The biggest disservice you can do yourself is shapeshifting to please your “audience” of the moment. It’s exhausting (even to watch) and, more importantly, pointless. No one will get to know who you really are, which will leave you feeling empty.