3. Establish clear limits.
I know you’ve already tried this — only what you’ve tried is to set limits with your partner by explaining what’s wrong with their behavior. The problem with that is you can’t set limits for other adults. The person you need to set limits for is yourself.
Pay attention to your own stress level. When you find yourself saying, “I’m not gonna take this anymore!,” you’ve already crossed your own limit for tolerance. This happens when you haven’t thoughtfully planned in advance what you need to do to take care of yourself when you find your tolerance limit breached.
Have a sober discussion with your partner in which you clearly outline how much will be too much, and what you will do if that line is crossed. For example, if your partner drinks (or behaves in a way that makes you strongly suspect so), you will leave and stay the night elsewhere until you feel certain they’ve sobered up.
I know it’s difficult to have to do something like that — but it is crucial to remove yourself (and your children) from the line of fire in which a drunken battle is likely to ensue.
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