Things EVERY guy wishes he could tell you – Big spoon = big problems. I’m a man who enjoys a good spoon. There are few things more relaxing or intimate than going to bed early on a chilly night, getting under some flannel sheets, and spooning with your partner until you both fall asleep.
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It’s lovely … when it works. But cuddling and spooning can be surprisingly tricky, especially for the big spoon. Now, in my experience, the man is normally the big or outer spoon, but that has less to do with gender politics and more to do with relative size.
I’m much bigger than my wife, so the outer spoon feels like the natural position for me. (I’m definitely not saying men can’t be the inner spoon. Sometimes that’s awesome.) When she’s the outer spoon, for me, it feels less like I’m being hugged and more like I’m Luke Skywalker training on Dagobah with Yoda on my back.
However, even though spooning is cuddly and warm — and can occasionally lead to sex (big plus) — it’s not always the most comfortable position in the world for many men. There are … problems, things we quietly tolerate, because we don’t want to be the jerk who ruins the relaxed vibe of the overall spoon.
It’s not that we’re anti-cuddle. It’s just that spooning isn’t without its own particular challenges.
1. Did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?
Remember that line from Jerry Maguire? Wasn’t it adorable? Well, now imagine someone taking a child-sized eight-pound bowling ball and placing it on your upper arm for eight hours. Would that be comfortable? It’s so sweet having your partner’s head cuddled up on your arm until your arm goes dead and you can’t feel your fingertips anymore.
So, if your partner is trying to place a pillow between your head and their arm, it’s not that they don’t love the feel of skin-on-skin, they just know that, in ten minutes, their arm is going to be a painful, bloodless lump of pins and needles.
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