10. I am/was having an affair: Reported by 20 percent of men and 19 percent of women.
11. She is/was having an affair: Reported by 9 percent of men and 19 percent of women.
The bottom line is: Men generally do want sex, according to the book’s authors.
What this means is that if you have a partner whose desire is diminished, it’s best to start talking and listening.
“We found that ED, depression, anger, discovering a computer downloaded with pornography, or even an affair was usually not reason enough to call a divorce lawyer,” says Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D.
The small population that did divorce said they were ANGRY.
Bob went on to explain, “They were also more likely to identify as bored, on medication, and depressed and to believe their spouses were unfaithful. They reported slightly less sexual dysfunction, perhaps indicating that they weren’t as fearful of competing in the world of single men.”
Why do women think their partners stopped?
Look at the data. When you compare what she thinks the issues are compared to what he reveals, the big disconnect comes from these key areas:
- She isn’t sexually adventurous enough for me: 68 percent versus 14 percent.
- She doesn’t seem to enjoy sex: 61 percent versus 10 percent.
- I’m interested in sex, but not with my wife: 48 percent versus 25 percent.
So what can you do?
The same reasons women stop wanting men are rooted in boredom. Lack of passion can be reversed. The same steps that work in my Revive Her Drive system work for him:
Get Your Polarity Back (at least in the bedroom)
Return To Romance (remember why you fell in love)
Re-Awaken Your Sensual Selves (get out of your heads and into your body sensations)
Begin To Seduce Each Other Again (move toward pleasure together)
Sexual Mastery Skills (learn new sexual techniques to get better in bed and avoid boredom)
You have the power.
Knowledge is powr inside and outside the bedroom.
If you are no longer attracted to your wife, or you suspect that your husband is not longer attracted to you, you can start with listening — and these steps.
This is a solvable problem. Start solving it.
Step one: Start talking some and listening more.
NOTE: The researchers did not take into account issues such as sexual abuse or the shame that comes from religious or familial repression. If this is your situation, a YourTango sexual therapist could provide breakthrough support for you.
Source: Yourtango
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